Veena

His eyes. His hair. His smile. The first time I set my eyes on West O’Brien, I fell victim to love at first sight. Actually, love at first “e-sight.”

Yes, I met West through an online website that specializes in matching two compatible people. And, yes, I have not met West in person as yet. However, I know that my relationship with West is true and that it will transcend any cyber boundary that may persist between us.

After connecting online, I skimmed his profile. His bio read, “Hello ladies. My name is West. Not North, not South, not East, but West.”

After weeks of iChatting, West and I finally decided to officially have our first date…via Skype.

Although there would be two computer screens separating the two of us, I can safely say that this was the most nervous I had ever been about a date.

After getting dressed, perfecting my hair and applying makeup, I was ready to meet face to computer screen to computer screen to face with my date.

Unfortunately, our date had a few technical difficulties, as West’s webcam was not working properly. I was therefore limited to hearing his voice.

His calming, deep and soothing voice, however, was enough for me to solidify our relationship.

The first time I heard West’s speak, he said “Sometimes when it’s cold outside and I’m on the highway, I roll my windows down and I giggle.”

He told me that “I love cold, I love rain, and I love everyone,” and went on to say that “Electric Avenue is the theme song of my life.” Most importantly, he revealed to me that his favorite aspects of life are bacon, Ben & Jerry’s and baths.

He told me about the days he traveled throughout Europe and of his noble mission work in Latin America. He told me of the time he received a silver medal in the annual underwater basket weaving competition losing only to a guy named Jacob Salazar.

We spoke about our plans for college and potential career paths.

I was shocked at how fast time passed by. Before I knew it, we had spoken for just about an hour.

After ending the Skype call, I was in disbelief at how perfect West was. He seemed so perfect, it was almost as if he was not real.

But after speaking with him, hearing his voice and learning about him, I knew he was real.

Hannah

It was supposed to be temporary. It was never supposed to end this way. The whole thing just started spiraling out of control. She already told me she loved me…Or rather, who I was pretending to be.

Instead of going on a romantic date with one of the wonderful gentlemen in A-3, Veena Iyengar decided to hit up Google and try her luck on an internet dating site. As I watched her sift through pages and pages of potential suitors, the options were looking pretty bleak. If there was a man out there worthy enough to date Veena, he sure wasn’t found on the pages of Christianmingle.com. A man that suited her needs simply did not exist. So I decided to take matters into my own hands – Manti Te’o style.

I had created the perfect profile; it was both goofy and charming and I created the name “West O’Brien” for myself because it reminded me of either a cowboy or an Irish weatherman, and I figured if that wouldn’t draw Veena in, nothing would.

I immediately started messaging her every day online, pretending to be West O’Brien, and she immediately fell for my character. I wanted my first words to ooze romance so I said “Hey lady, my name is West! Not north, not south, not east but West.” After that line, she was putty in my hands. I told her I was interested in things like underwater basket weaving and giggling on the freeway, and she melted over every word I typed. After an entire week of our phony romance, she begged me to ask her on a real date, so naturally I sent her an emoji of someone proposing and asked her what time she wanted to Skype.

Our date went surprisingly well. After messaging a long list of excuses about why we could never meet in person, I whipped out my best man voice and she bought the entire thing. Right before she signed off and I lost my voice, she told me, or “West,” that she loved him, well, me. It was then that I stumbled upon a blinding realization. This had gone too far. What began as me just trying to help out a friend had become seriously twisted situation. I had to deter her somehow, someway. I told her, thinking this would be too abstract for her to handle, that the three most important things to me were bacon, Ben and Jerry’s and baths. I tried to shake her off, but my efforts were unsuccessful. I was in too deep. I realized that I, even posing as another person, was simply too lovable and irresistible to let go of. Even though I longed to tell her the truth, I didn’t have the heart to tell Veena that the love of her life, West O’Brien, was not real, nor did I have the heart to break up with her. I suppose what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

The result of this relationship? One love-struck Veena, one nonexistent boyfriend and one very confused Derbs. Overall, one very complicated relationship status.