Valentine’s Day may be over, but dating certainly is not. After the roses wilt and the chocolates are gone, it can be challenging to keep up with that special someone. Although February 14th places pressure on grand romantic gestures, the reality of dating looks a lot different. From the small details that make a night memorable to the red flags that send people running, Bellarmine students shared what actually makes a good date and what steps can be taken to turn a one-time valentine into a long-term connection.

For many students, the best dates weren’t necessarily the most extravagant, but the most intentional. Senior Katie Henzel described one of her favorite dates as the “time [she and her date] went down to Westport and went surfing.” She went on to share more about the outing, saying, “We got dinner there, and it was like a whole day thing, it was really fun.”

Others gravitated towards unique indoor activities. Sophomore Collin Hutchinson recalled “going to Java and Clay in Gig Harbor recently.” Hutchinson said, “It was really nice… It was just a laid-back vibe. You got to do art, and you got to talk a lot.”

Whether it was a day at the beach or a pottery studio, students consistently pointed to shared experiences and real conversations as the highlight of their dates. Senior Kylie Schneller noted that surprises and thoughtfulness can elevate a date. “The best date I’ve been on was when my boyfriend took me on a date… but he didn’t tell me where we were going, he just gave me a dress code and picked me up. It was kind of fun having a little surprise moment,” Schneller explained.

While some students prioritize romance, others, such as senior Eli Peairs, prioritize something else entirely. “I took her to Chuck E. Cheese because I wanted to see if she retained her childlike sense of wonder,” Peairs said.

While the venue may not be what is usually pictured when imagining an evening of love, the reasoning reflects a common theme among students: compatibility, fun, and quality time are just as important as aesthetics.

Clearly, there are many steps that can be taken to elevate a date from mediocre to unforgettable. However, students shared that not all experiences are quite so wonderful. When asked about dating red flags, senior Bryce Hallett said that “not being able to hold a conversation” was one that stood out.

Senior Clare Walsh noted that “last-minute plans” are “not it.”

Henzel shared a similar sentiment, saying that it is a red flag “if a guy won’t plan a date.” For students, it is clear that initiative matters.

Hutchinson described warning signs such as “not reciprocating energy… or if the vibe is like standoffish.”

Hutchinson wasn’t the only student who was weary about potential disconnect from a date. Peairs said that “[He doesn’t] like if they ask you out and then they don’t pay… If it is your idea to go on the date, then you should pay for it.” He went on to add a note about phone usage, saying, “If you’re at an arcade or a restaurant, and they’re just nose-deep buried into their phone, what’s the point?”

When trying to leave a positive impression on a date, it seems that it is best to plan ahead, stay present, spark up a conversation, and maybe look up from the screen once in a while.

Minor setbacks, however, do not mean that a date is ruined. Many students shared small acts that can be done to make an experience much more enjoyable. “Compliments are great. I love giving and getting compliments,” senior Iliana Welker shared, noting that “whenever I get a comment from somebody, I just think about it for the rest of the day… it sticks with me.”

Traditional courtesy hasn’t gone out of style either. “Small, considerate things like holding open the door” and “being a gentleman” are easy ways to make a date better, said Schneller. Henzel summarized it best: “Bring chivalry back.”

Walsh noted that “even just showing up with a small little gift or note” can be of great benefit.

Hallett kept it straightforward when asked what small steps could be taken to improve a date, saying “communicate.” While it isn’t the most glamorous advice, it is certainly effective.

The consensus among students seems to be that effort doesn’t have to be flashy; it just has to be intentional.

Not every outing, however, ends in a beautiful sunset or a new spark. Some dates become cautionary tales. Welker recalls, “We were walking in Seattle… and I was kind of cold… two guys even walked by and said, ‘if you don’t give her your sweater,’ and then he didn’t give me his sweater to wear.” That is certainly one way to ice someone out of a date.

Peairs described what seemed to be a fine evening, until “five hours later… her girlfriend FaceTimed me and I found out that she was cheating on me.”

Hutchinson shared another less-than-ideal scenario he had heard of, saying, “This wasn’t me… but he came over, and they thought they were like going on a date or something…he actually came to break up before prom.”

Senior Tristan O’Neal recalled hearing a story of someone “going for a kiss, but he had popcorn in his mouth, and he accidentally like spit it out on [his date’s] face… they never talked again after that.”

Across the board, it seems that these unfavorable instances could have been avoided with proper communication, attention, and respect.

Although some of those moments would be tough to come back from, students did not hesitate to come to the rescue with plenty of dating advice. “Don’t lead people on… If you know it’s not going to work out, then don’t keep going for it,” Welker suggested.

Hutchinson expressed a similar sentiment, saying, “Don’t force yourself into something… take your time and try to find people who match your interests.”

Others encourage confidence. “Stand up for yourself,” Schneller said.

Walsh said, “Paying attention to small things really matters… Remembering things and showing people that you’re thinking of them.”

With one of the boldest student takes, Peairs said, “Don’t date at school and don’t date people younger than you.” Although that advice may not be agreed upon by all students, it is certainly memorable and important to consider.

If nothing else, Bellarmine students agreed on this: clarity, communication, and self-respect beat performative romance every time.

In the end, dating seems to be less about extravagant displays of affection and more about mutual effort. Whether it’s a surprise date at a fancy restaurant or a day at Chuck E. Cheese, students clearly value authenticity over aesthetics. Compatibility, communication, and childlike wonder matter more than a candlelight dinner ever will. After all, Valentine’s Day may come and go, but thoughtfulness never goes out of season.