If you’ve heard anything from Vogue recently it probably surrounds the question of the year. “Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?” The Vogue article with the same title has been blowing up online, with many influencers chiming in on their view of the topic. While this article was focused on how having a boyfriend affects how women are viewed online and in the work force, the question posed in the high school setting is if this boyfriend effect also applies to teens?
For many high school students the pressure to be in a relationship tends to swing depending on what season of the year they’re in. During fall students seem to have an increased want to be in a relationship as dance season rolls around. Senior Clare Walsh said that there is “100 percent a pressure to have a date to dances.” While this does seem to be a common trend in high schoolers others find the reasoning to be more emotional.
Junior Anna Rosati said “I think a lot of people choose to have boyfriends as a reassurance of being loved.”
Despite students tending to agree on the fact that there is pressure in high school to have a boyfriend, they seemed mixed on whether it truly is embarrassing to have one. The common consensus seems to be best stated by senior Genevieve Davis, she said “It’s not embarrassing to have a boyfriend; it’s embarrassing to be a girlfriend.” Lyla Hulse added, “it’s cute if you’re cute, and it’s weird if you’re weird.”
So if having a boyfriend is only embarrassing if you’re “weird,” what does weird look like? Logan Shaw said “Some people are incredibly happy and it helps them, but then I know people who it’s terrible for them.”
Walsh seemed to have a similar opinion saying, “When a man can love you out loud, and people can clock when you’re being treated right, there’s nothing embarrassing about that. It’s embarrassing to stay with someone who isn’t loving you out loud.”
Combating being a boyfriend who doesn’t love their partner out loud seems to be on the front of a lot of high school boys minds. Nate Lillie said, “As you get introduced to the prospect that this might carry out through high school, that changes the way that you treat each other. It’s more mature.”
Shaw had a similar perspective saying, “It shows character to be able to be the type of boyfriend that’s comfortable to get flowers for your girlfriend, and do that type of stuff.”
For a lot of people in high school who are getting into relationships the main concern tends to be on the ability to stay independent. Davis said, “I was always afraid that if was going to become my whole life, until I realized that I could make that choice, and it’s not a choice that will be made for me. ” Once you’re in the relationship it may feel like you have independence but is that how it’s seen from the outside.
Bryce Hallett said, “Some people you see in a relationship as a pair.” Is this a negative thing though, to be seen as someone who doesn’t simply have a partner, but in a relationship? Lillie said, “You have to have a certain level of independence; you can’t be super dependent for a relationship to be fairly successful.”
At the end of day, it seems that the choice to be in a relationship, and how that’s viewed, is up to each person. Some people know what it’s like to be in a relationship and choose not to be, with Shaw saying, “New Year’s resolution: break 80 on the golf course, and stay single,” and Maggie Kranick saying, “If you’re really cool it’s never a question about independence.”
So if you’re looking for advice, look no further than yourself. Be the person you want to be in a relationship, or not in a relationship. Do what you want to do.
